Today, let’s talk about a common issue that might not be mentioned enough: newly developing difficulty reaching orgasm, especially among women.
She used to be able to come but now she cannot….
It’s something that many women struggle with, but few openly discuss.
One of my fans wrote to me, sharing his and his partner’s experience.
His partner is having a tough time reaching orgasm, and he’s feeling a bit lost about how to help. Scroll down to read this email and my response below.
COME AGAIN
“Hi, Susan,
My partner and I weren’t having sex for quite some time after I suffered some bladder complications. The meds I was given prevented me from ejaculating and put frequent dents in my ability to maintain an erection.
We’ve just gotten back into things for the past two weeks, but not without problems.
The key problem is that it’s now difficult for her to cum. I mostly use my fingers to stimulate her, and time after time, she reaches the point of orgasm but then asks to “take a break.” I stop for a few seconds and then continue. After a few more minutes, again on the brink of an orgasm, she asks for another break.
After an hour, I get up and make her coffee.
She says she enjoys what I’m doing very much but can’t cum.
I’ve run out of ideas. She doesn’t like vibrators or dildos, I’ve tried arousal liquids, but they don’t seem to do the trick, and I’m unsure what else to do. Persistence is not paying off.
I’d deeply appreciate anything helpful you can suggest.” — Bernard (not his real name)
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Hi Bernard,
These issues are often multifactorial. I’m guessing she’s feeling pressure, making it harder to come. And she has some vulvar atrophy which compounds the issue. I have four things that create an entourage effect to get her over the hump and start coming better than she ever has.
First, I want you to understand that your wife has as much erectile tissue in her vulva as you do in your penis.
And if you look at your penis when it goes from flaccid to erect, you can see how much more tissues there are. Now imagine that your penis is at least 20 to 30% larger than what you see sticking out of your body because it goes in and down toward your testicles inside your body.
Now imagine all that erectile tissue of your penis, take it out of your penis and turn it into a circle that comes to a point, and imagine it under the skin of your wife’s vulva, wrapped around her vaginal opening. She has that much erectile tissue in there. And what happened is that it began to shrink and atrophy from not getting enough blood flow consistently to it during arousal.
So the trick is to get more blood flow and to reverse the atrophy that’s happened to her that is giving her a loss of sensation and a loss of signals of pleasure to her brain.
There are four things I recommend to solve the problem.
Number one, take a nitric oxide booster to increase blood flow to her pelvic bowl.
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Number two, get FemiWave treatments which use shockwave technology to stimulate new tissue repair and reverse the atrophy. This will also help with lubrication issues, incontinence, and thinning of the vaginal tissue.
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FemiWave is the ONLY treatment that restores the vulva AND the clitoris.
Number three, I’d love for you to give her regular Yoni massages without the goal of making her orgasm. I think you’re driving her too hard. Rather than giving her the 20 to 30-minute warm-up that she needs, you’re probably stroking her so that you “make her come.” That never works. It creates performance anxiety.
How To Give A Yoni Massage ⇐ Watch My Video
So let go of the notion of trying to make her come. Instead, just pleasure her Yoni and work on bringing blood flow and sensation back to her vulva.
Number four, I know that you said that your wife doesn’t like to use toys. This is a grave mistake. Please get her to understand that sex tools are extremely valuable, especially for an aging vulva. She is just afraid. Lack of education makes people fearful. Toys are 110% vital for women to achieve their pleasure potential.
The toy that I recommend that she uses is the Lady Bi or the Miss Bi. The lady is bigger than the miss. So it depends on how full she wants to feel inside her vagina. Here are the links to the two vibrators.
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I suggest you get one and encourage her to use it. Give her the space to get used to it, but use it on her. Help her understand that vibrating the internal and external clitoral erectile tissue should bring in blood flow, engorgement, and getting more arousal which sends signals of pleasure to her brain.
This will help her come. Once she starts coming, she’ll come more easily, and it will build on itself.
There are eight kinds of sex toys that I recommend for women so that they can do what I call orgasmic cross-training.
Here is a link to an article about that.
Click Here To Read My Article About It ⇐ Orgasmic Cross Training
Click Here To See Links to ALL The Toys ⇐ Orgasmic Cross Training
Thank you so much for having the confidence to reach out to help your wife. And to care so much about her pleasure.
This will be easy to fix.
Let me know your questions.
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All information from Susan Bratton, Personal Life Media, The20, and our collective brands are personal opinions. The statements made within this email/website have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These statements and the products of this company are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Always seek consultation from your doctor.
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